


Only the Stars Around to See Us

by hidingoutbackstage



Series: Destiny's Childhood Friends AU [1]
Category: No Straight Roads (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Feelings Realization, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Slow Dancing, Star Gazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27068527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hidingoutbackstage/pseuds/hidingoutbackstage
Summary: PROM NIGHT! They ditch prom cuz its lame and they both don’t have dates so they go to the roof to look at stars.(based on @lunasdestiny's Childhood Friends AU)
Relationships: DJ Subatomic Supernova/Neon J.
Series: Destiny's Childhood Friends AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2047028
Comments: 28
Kudos: 171





	1. Prom Night

**Author's Note:**

> I love this au, go check it out on lunasdestiny's tumblr if you haven't. Their art for this au is fantastic! Thanks to my friends who beta read it, and thanks to Destiny for letting me write this.

It wasn’t every day one realized they were in love with their best friend.

To be honest, in this instance, it should have happened a lot sooner. After all, falling in love doesn’t happen instantaneously. It can take months, or in this case, years, to build up a relationship with someone that’s so strong, so supportive and caring, that eventually causes love to blossom. Years of mutual friendship, talking to each other about anything and everything, being each other’s rock to lean on when the going got tough, being willing to listen to the other’s hopes and dreams, being each other’s achilles heel, being the first to stand up and the last one to back down, all of these things and so many more that tightened their bond, it was logically almost inevitable that these feelings stopped being platonic and ventured into something more.

And for some reason, tonight, during prom night of all nights, after the two boys snuck onto the roof of their high school, currently seated next to each other, looking up at the stars, is when Nova finally comes to terms with it.

“Hey man, you good over there?” Jay is looking at him with that ever-present smile, green eyes wide and amused. He’s smiling at Nova like that because of course he is, because he has no idea how Nova feels, because Nova has kept it that way for so long.

He’s cute. God dammit he is so cute. One would have to be blind to not see it. Hell, Nova doesn’t even have eyes, but is able to see how beautiful Jay is. It wasn’t normal, was it, to find your best friend attractive to a point where the thought of kissing him has crossed your mind on multiple occasions?

No, no it wasn’t.

“Something on your mind?” the boy continues. He tilts his head a little and cocks a playful eyebrow.

_Yeah. You. More than I want to admit. More than you should be if I want us to just be friends._

“Kind of,” Nova says slowly. “It’s actually been on my mind for a while now. I’ve just been…nervous to think about it.”

“Uh oh, I know that tone. Are we about to get all philosophical up in here? One second.” Jay scoots closer, his legs remaining criss-crossed, then props up his chin on his hands and leans closer to Nova, curiously. He looks adorable and Nova would laugh if he wasn’t so nervous.

“Okay, go ahead. I’m all ears.”

Nova takes a shaky breath. His mind is racing, filling with all the ways he can tell Jay about this recent development. He and Jay have always been honest with each other, as far as Nova was aware, they never kept secrets. They told each other everything, good and bad. And it never put a damper on their friendship, only making it grow stronger. So what is he to say now? There’s no way to sugarcoat it, but come on, this is his Jay, the one person not related to him that’s stuck by Nova’s side through everything. He’s not gonna bite.

“It’s about feelings,” he begins. “And you.” Jay blinks at the last two words. Blinks and straightens up a little, clearly intrigued, but aside from that does nothing more. The “go on” is unspoken, written all over Jay’s face.

“I’ve just been feeling a little unusual as of late. It’s, um, not the easiest to explain.” _Come on, Supernova, don’t start fumbling over your words now._ “With you going off to military school soon, and myself staying here for college, these rarer moments nowadays make me feel…I mean, I’ve just been thinking…” Jay’s stare is full of nothing but pure curiosity.

Nova chickens out.

“It’s just finally set in for me. How much I’m going to miss you,” he finally says. Jay’s posture relaxes and he offers a sympathetic smile.

“Aw, I’m going to miss you too, buddy,” he reassures, carelessly using the nickname that Nova knew meant nothing but platonic feelings, and always will. “But it’ll be okay, we can still write to each other,” he says hopefully.

“Yeah.” Nova chooses to ignore the biting feeling in his chest. “Hope you’re ready to be annoyed to death, cuz I’m gonna write you a letter every day I get one from you.”

Jay crosses his arms and smirks like he’s being challenged. “Well then you should be prepared for some hella cramped hands, because every day _you_ send me a letter, _I’m_ gonna send one back.” Nova chuckles a little. “And maybe some other stuff. Tinker toys and other little figures I can make in my spare time. I know you like the ones I make for you.” _Because_ you’re _the one who makes them for me,_ Nova thinks.

“I’d like that,” he says instead. Not knowing how to continue the conversation from there, he looks back up at the stars once more. It was what they came here to do, after all.

He feels a pair of eyes on him, but doesn’t so much as glance over at Jay. His best friend is like that sometimes; if there was something really bugging him, he’d take his time to think before saying it, rather than just speaking as the words came to him, like he was more commonly prone to.

“Do you like how close we are?”

Nova’s head swivels around. Jay is looking at him with unwavering curiosity. Damn curiosity. He glances at the space between where the two of them are sitting, less than a foot, but he has a feeling that physical distance is not what the boy is referring to. “What do you mean?”

Jay takes a deep breath. Oh boy, time for a classic Jay spiel. Nova doesn’t mind, really, in fact he’s always seen these speeches as part of Jay’s charm. Just another thing to love about him. Another thing on the long, long list of…Nova snaps himself out of it and focuses on his best friend. “I’ve never really seen that many people who were as good of friends as us. My parents asked if there was any girl I was planning on writing while I was gone, and I told them not really, but I did plan to keep in touch with them and you. And they said ‘wow, you and that Nova kid sure are close.’” The way he speaks has a slight edge to it, like he isn’t happy with what he’s saying. “The way they said it was a little strange. Felt kinda judgmental.”

Judgement. Something Nova was all too familiar with. He hated imagining Jay being at the receiving end of it. “Do you think we’re _too_ close?”

“No!” Jay’s eyes are wide and his cheeks blushing. Probably at the suddenness of how he spoke. “I mean, I wouldn’t say so. No matter what my parents say, I like what we have. I appreciate it. Every time that I see you, message you, hear from you in any way, it makes me really happy.” The blush in his cheeks deepens. “I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for _you.”_ He gives a nervous laugh, a single finger tapping restlessly on his knee. Nova has no clue what Jay was nervous about. He’d never been shy with affectionate words, so why is he now? “As corny as it is to say, you’re one of the only things in this world that makes sense.”

Nova’s heart tratoriously beats faster in his chest. The hell did a star need a heart for anyway? It was ridiculous. “I’m not sure I follow.”

Jay sighs and scoots even closer so he and Nova are side by side. His voice lowers slightly, as if worried someone else will hear them, as if they aren’t the only two people in the world right now. “The world is weird and unpredictable, despite its expectations. Other people don’t get me the way you do, even my parents find me a bit odd and keep pushing their suggestions on me, like getting married to some girl and having a big family.” Nova ignores the slight pang in his chest at the word “girl,” and isn’t ashamed to admit feeling the slightest satisfaction at Jay’s grimace when he says it. “I mean you know me, Nova. I’m not opposed to the idea of a family. I think it sounds lovely. Just the idea of a wife, of being a military husband, doesn’t sound right to me. I’ve never had a girl, and I don’t plan to have one now, especially with the inevitability that I get shipped off.” Piercing green eyes look up at Nova slowly, anxiousness clear as day in them. “But I’ve always had you. You’re understanding, you’re supportive of me, you’re caring, and I know I can count on some good letters from you.” The pair chuckles at that last one, Jay’s seeming genuine while Nova’s is out of nervousness from what he’s hearing. “So yeah. You’re the constant variable in my life that keeps my equation balanced. You’re the only thing that makes sense. I don’t think I’ll ever find that in anyone else.”

Nova swallows hard. “I’m flattered, Jay.”

“It’s the truth, bud.” _Bud._ Just like that, whatever atmosphere that had been there became smothered with a completely platonic blanket. Jay wasn’t confessing to him, he was just being open, honest, genuine, like he always was. “You and the navy, that’s all I really have going for me, honestly.”

And it was back to casual conversation. “Do you think you’ll make that your career?”

Jay’s knees are brought up to his chest, and he rests his head on them. “Maybe.”

Nova could have laughed out loud. Maybe? Jay has been so sure ever since the pair first met that he was going to join the navy, so he would be able to “protect everyone,” as he put it. He talked about it in a less fantastical way as the years went on, but always remained determined that this is what he wanted to do, this was the person he wanted to be. And now, his answer is “maybe”?

“I thought you want to stay involved, shipped off to fight who knows where, for the rest of your life?”

Jay shifts uncomfortably. “It…depends.” His eyes flicker to glance at Nova, but immediately look away. “I don’t think I’d mind the isolated sea life that much. And I wouldn’t be that isolated, I’d have troops to command and everything. If I’m captain, but everyone says I will be, with my commandeering nature, haha. And as dangerous as is, it’s an important job.” His tone was optimistic, but his smile was somber. “So, the rest of my life…again, maybe.” With a sigh he stands up and walks to the chain link fence surrounding the roof. He looks down at the dim lights of the city below them. Nova wordlessly joins his side. The view is nothing special, but is kind of pretty. “And if I don’t, I’m sure I’ll find some other career that can hopefully lead me to far off places. That’s another reason I wanted to go. To get the hell out of Vinyl City, explore the world, make new friends and meet new people. Hard to do that in your hometown.”

“So what you’re saying is I’ll never see you again?” The words come out all too easily, and Nova immediately wishes he could take them back. Jay can’t know how bitter he is, how scared the prospect of never again seeing his best friend, the object of his affection, the person who means more to him than all the stars in the sky, makes him.

But he’d already said it.

“Come on, don’t be like that.” His smile is reassuring, but his brow is creased and he’s watching Nova with a little more intensity than usual.

“I don’t want to lose you, Jay.”

“You won’t.” Nova wants to believe it. He really, really wants to. But the more logical part of his mind doesn’t. Jay clearly senses it. “I mean it dude. Nothing could happen that would keep me from you. The only way would be…I don’t know, if I was fucking dead, and even then, I’d make sure my ghost still haunted you until the day you died. You could join me in the afterlife. We could be ghost buddies! Can you imagine?” Jay laughs, it’s a loud, belly laugh, and while it’s music to Nova’s ears, it doesn’t make the pit in his stomach go away. Still he offers a half chuckle and lightly punches his best friend on the arm.

Once again, feeling unable to continue the conversation, Nova just tilts his head up to look up at the sky. It’s a cloudless night, which means a better view of the gorgeous white stars dotting the indigo sky. Nova always felt at peace whenever he looked at them. It was no wonder why, but that didn’t deter him from appreciating their beauty.

"The stars tonight are brilliant,” he says, his voice coming out dream-like.

“Yeah and beautiful too.” Nova feels a pair of eyes on him again.

“You wanna know which star is my favorite?” Jay continues.

“Uh…Delta Arietis?” It’s a stupid guess, but Nova makes it anyway. “That one is really visible this time of year-”

“No,” Jay says with a laugh. His hand is suddenly on the side of Nova’s helmet, cradling it gently and forcing Nova to look at him. “It’s you, dummy.” The hand falls slightly, instead resting on Nova’s shoulder, a source of comfort that nevertheless sets the star’s skin aflame.

“You flatter me, captain,” Nova all but whispers.

“You deserve it, space cowboy,” Jay says just as softly. Their faces are so close. Jay is staring at him with bright eyes and a shy smile. Nova wants to say or do something, anything, to keep that smile on his face, if even just for a little longer. When he can’t think of anything, he gets distracted by a lock of Jay’s hair that was draped in front of his ear instead of tucked behind. As if on auto-pilot, Nova tucks the hair back into place, his hand freezing next to Jay’s face when he realizes what he did. He’s on the verge of apologizing when Jay’s hand comes up next to it, interlocking Nova’s fingers with his own. Their intertwined hands fall down to their side, bridging the small gap between them. They haven’t spoken for over a minute now. They don’t need to.

_I love you._

It’s the truth. It’s the god awful truth and Nova couldn’t avoid it if he tried. He loves his best friend, his only friend, one of the few things that makes life bearable. He loves Jay and he knows he has for some time now and it would be so easy to just say it, to let the words fall out, to put them out into the world in this perfect moment.

And yet he stays silent.

Jay glances at his hand, still on Nova’s shoulder, and their hands interlocked, and it’s like Nova can see the lightbulb go off above his head.

“Wanna dance?” he asks, his face lighting up with bright eyes and a radiant smile, and Nova’s immediate answer is both no and yes.

No, he shouldn’t. He would probably just trip over himself or Jay, he’d probably get too much in his own thoughts and end up ruining the fun time for both of them, he’d probably inevitably do something stupid or embarrassing and the last thing he wanted was to ruin Jay’s last fun night.

But, yes, he wants to. He wants to hold Jay tightly, spin around with him, laugh as they both fumble over their own two feet since they both failed ballroom dancing in phys ed. He wants to see Jay happy, and he wants to have another good moment he can file away in his memories once Jay is gone.

Yes wins.

“Sure. I’ll lead?” he suggests, his other hand coming to rest on Jay’s waist.

“Fine by me. Actually, wait a second.” He removes his hand from Nova’s shoulder and grabs his phone out of his pocket. He scrolls through a few apps and presses a few buttons, and eventually, violin and piano music starts emitting from the phone’s speaker. “Can’t dance without music, am I right?” he asks, placing the phone sticking a little out of his jacket pocket so they could still hear the music. Nova recognizes it as Pachelbel’s Canon in D Major.

“Classical ballroom? Really?”

“What would you rather I play? EDM?” Nova laughs at that, his nerves which became shot the second Jay had suggested dancing slowly beginning to calm.

“Maybe. Though I know that’s not really your style,” he teases.

Jay rolls his eyes and tightens his grip on his partner’s shoulder. “Just dance with me, hot stuff.”

The nickname makes Nova’s heart flutter in his chest. “Whatever you say, Jay.”

At first they tried to do a waltz, stepping every four beats, but they both kept forgetting which foot to use to go in what direction, so they ended up settling for just making half-steps to spin them in circles. A few times Nova lifted his hand above Jay’s head to spin him in a circle, which the boy responded to with little hesitation, the pair laughing each time they did. At one point Jay separated from Nova’s hold and spun himself out, save for holding on to Nova’s hand, striking a pose with his arm stretched out over his head and a wink at his partner. Nova laughed at the sight, secretly loving it, and struck his own pose before roping Jay back in for more dancing.

Towards the end of the song, Jay got an excited smirk on his face, and promptly commanded, “Dip me.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want-”

“You won’t drop me, Nova,” he reassures him. “Come on, do it!”

Nova sighs, but secures his hold on Jay, wrapping his arm more around his back rather than just cupping his waist, resulting in Jay pressing up against his chest. With a deep breath, he leans Jay forward as far as he dares. Jay’s hand holding Nova’s tightens his grip, but his smile is determined and his eyes are crinkled at the edges, so Nova knows he’s not afraid.

 _He trusts you,_ a little voice in Nova’s head tells him. _You can’t screw this up._

Something in Jay’s expression changes. It softens from confident and determined to pure and happy. His hand moves from resting on Nova’s shoulder to once again holding his helmet, his touch much more cautious and tender. Green eyes flicker up and down Nova’s form, taking all of him in, and he licks his lips nervously. Nova feels his brain short circuit.

_I love you._

The final note of the song is held out before fading away, and still the two boys don’t move. Nova knows he should, knows he wants to, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He wants to live in this moment for eternity, in this moment of love, happiness, and almost.

But time moves on.

Jay blinks and his hand shifts, and that’s all Nova needs to pull them both to a standing position, relaxing his hold around Jay once they’re both upright, and giving a little space between them. They separate completely, and Nova immediately misses the contact.

“Wow. That was fun,” Jay says, rubbing the back of his neck as he laughs. He’s so cute when he laughs. “I’m not usually one for dancing, but like always, you make things way better. Thanks, space cowboy.”

“Of course, Jay. I love…d doing that with you. You’re a good dance partner.” Shit. He’d almost let it slip. For a guy with such a high iq, he sure could be a downright idiot.

“You’re a good leader,” Jay responds, sitting down on the roof once more, this time laying on his back. Nova lays down next to him, any closer and their shoulders would be touching. He tries not to think about it. “Man, if only the guys could have seen us. I tell you, they wouldn’t let me live it down.”

Oh yeah. “The guys,” aka Jay’s other friends that wanted absolutely nothing to do with Nova. They were polite about it at least, showing him basic decency whenever Jay brought Nova along to hang out with the rest of his friends, but Nova knew they said things behind his back. Things they absolutely would never tell Jay. They liked Jay, they could just clearly do without his loser space cadet friend. But Jay made it clear to everyone that they were a package deal, so Nova stayed. It was nice to know he was a priority though. Especially tonight.

“Yeah. Sorry we ditched your friends to come up here.” A bunch of Jay’s friends had prom dates, and they had decided to all go as a group. Several girls had asked Jay, but he politely declined, and no one had asked Nova. So instead the pair went together, clearly defined “as friends,” despite what the whispers said.

“Are you kidding? Prom is lame anyway. And the theme was ‘under the sea.’ Boooringggg. Sneaking up to the roof to stargaze and dance and have deep conversations with your best friend, now that is way more fun.” _Best friend._ Nova felt the words carelessly pierce his heart.

“Still. We did abandon your other friends, didn’t even tell them where we were going.”

Jay waves his hand carelessly. “I’m sure they think we snuck off somewhere to drink and fuck or whatever.” Nova’s entire being heats up with anxiety and embarrassment. The light of his star must have brightened too, because Jay glances at it, smirks, and finally collapses into laughter.

“Aw man, you should see your face right now,” he says between fits of giggles.

“I don’t have a face.” It’s a weak protest, but it's the only defense he has.

“You know what I mean, Nova, come on.” Jay finally relaxes, running a hand through his messy hair. “Let them think what they want. Who cares, anyway?”

“You do?” Nova guesses. “I mean, they’re your friends.”

Jay scoffs. “I said ‘who cares?’” He rolls over so he’s laying on his side, directly facing Nova and shamelessly staring. Despite the nervousness coursing through his veins, Nova copies him so they’re in the same position (though he deliberately avoids the shameless staring). “I have all I need up here with me. Stars, fresh air, and the cutest boy in the world.”

“I don’t know why you put yourself at the end of that list.” Somehow Nova says it without stuttering. Jay’s eyes widen the slightest bit and his confident smile vanishes. Nova almost wants to tease him for it, but his heart is beating much too hard to let him focus on not stumbling over words a second time.

“Shut up, man,” Jay mumbles with a laugh, punching Nova lightly on the arm. He catches the hand as it retreats, and interlocks their fingers. Jay doesn’t say anything, just gently squeezes Nova’s hand back. They lay still, holding hands, not saying anything, for as long as they can.

It’s enough.

They're enough.

_I love you._


	2. Prom Night...2!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to update this fic (after 2 months, I know) with how the scene probably went down from Jay's perspective. Shout out as always to Destiny for beta reading and allowing me to write for this au!

It was the last fun day of Jay’s life.

Okay, maybe that statement was a little dramatic. It wasn’t the final fun day of his life, but it was the last day he had to spend and enjoy with his friends before going off to military school. Or rather, his friend, singular.

He glances over at his best friend, Nova. The two are sitting on the roof of their school building, alone, on prom night, watching the stars. It had been Jay’s idea. He was getting a little uncomfortable in the stuffy gym, and he could tell Nova wasn’t having fun either. They probably should’ve skipped it altogether, but Jay would have felt bad flat out ditching his friends. And besides, where’s the fun and excitement of sneaking around?

He studied Nova for a moment. His friend seemed lost in thought.

“Hey man, you good over there?” Jay asks with a smile. Nova looks back at him and seems to relax. “Something on your mind?”

“Kind of.” His voice is clearly hesitant. “It’s actually been on my mind for a while now. I’ve just been…nervous to think about it.”

Nova feeling nervous? Well, that isn’t new. “Uh oh, I know that tone,” Jay says knowingly. “Are we about to get all philosophical up in here? One second.” He scoots closer and props his head up on his hands so Nova knows he has his full attention. Of course he does, Jay is more than a little curious as to what’s been on his friend’s mind for so long. “Okay, go ahead. I’m all ears.”

Nova takes a deep breath, and already Jay’s mind is racing with the possibilities. Was it something that had happened? Did it have to do with college? His future? Them? The last question leaves Jay with a strange feeling in his gut.

“It’s about feelings. And you.” Jay blinks and his posture stiffens. He wasn’t expecting that. Nova wasn’t one to talk about feelings; his typical conversations were philosophical, existential, or intellectual, and often Jay couldn’t do anything but supportively listen to his friend’s beautiful voice. Nova was usually the more material one, and Jay was the emotional one. It wasn’t typical to their system, but at least this time Jay can likely respond to what Nova was saying and help him out. Especially if it’s about how Nova feels towards him.

“I’ve just been feeling a little unusual as of late. It’s, um, not the easiest to explain.” Jay listens patiently, a little curious as to the fluttery feeling in his chest, but he brushes it off as anticipation for whatever Nova is saying. “With you going off to military school soon, and myself staying here for college, these rarer moments nowadays make me feel…I mean, I’ve just been thinking…” Jay isn’t sure what, but he knows there’s something he wants to hear Nova say.

“It’s just finally set in for me. How much I’m going to miss you.”

Whatever he’d hoped to hear, that wasn’t it.

Not to say it wasn’t a completely disappointing thing to hear from his best friend. He offers Nova a sympathetic smile. “Aw, I’m going to miss you too, buddy,” he reassures, wanting to reach out and rub his friend’s arm for comfort, but he resists, feeling too nervous to do so. “But it’ll be okay, we can still write to each other,” he says, reminding Nova of their promise.

“Yeah.” There’s a little bit of solemn agreement in his voice, and Jay has half a mind to ask him about it. But his tone has shifted when he says, “Hope you’re ready to be annoyed to death, cuz I’m gonna write you a letter every day I get one from you.”

He was probably imagining the solemness in Nova’s voice. Jay smirks and crosses his arms. “Well then you should be prepared for some hella cramped hands, because every day _you_ send me a letter, _I’m_ gonna send one back.” Nova lets out a chuckle and the sound is Jay’s favorite thing in the world. He continues, “And maybe some other stuff. Tinker toys and other little figures I can make in my spare time. I know you like the ones I make for you.” _And I like making them for you._

“I’d like that,” Nova says, and returns to star gazing. Jay figures he should too, but can’t tear his gaze away from Nova. He looks beautiful under the starlight. Jay’s going to miss him while away at the academy. Honestly, he might even miss Nova more than his family, and definitely more than the rest of his friends. Was that weird? He chews on his lip as he ponders it, and feels almost bad when he finally breaks the silence.

“Do you like how close we are?”

Nova’s helmet turns and he gives Jay an unquestionably curious look, glancing at the space between the two. Jay bites back a laugh; Nova’s smart enough to know he isn’t referring to physical distance.

“What do you mean?” he asks, and Jay gets that weird feeling in his gut again. He takes a deep breath and thinks for a moment. He doesn’t want to ramble too much. Not that Nova would mind, his friend did always say he liked the sound of Jay’s voice. And that he likes Jay’s little spiels. Like the one he’s supposed to be giving now. _Focus, soldier._

His hands fiddle in his lap as he talks. “I’ve never really seen that many people who were as good of friends as us. My parents asked if there was any girl I was planning on writing while I was gone, and I told them not really, but I did plan to keep in touch with them and you. And they said ‘wow, you and that Nova kid sure are close.’” He tries to refrain from sounding bitter when he says it, but a little slips out in his tone anyway. They were close, his parents didn’t have to keep mentioning it like they were disappointed in him for who he chose to be his best friend. Like he could do better than a kind, shy, astrological genius. “The way they said it was a little strange. Felt kinda judgmental,” he explains to Nova.

The star tilts his helmet slightly. “Do you think we’re _too_ close?”

“No!” Jay blurts out, then immediately tries to backpedal as he realizes how desperate he sounds. He can feel warmth in his face and just knows he’s blushing. Not a good look for his cool guy persona. “I mean, I wouldn’t say so. No matter what my parents say, I like what we have. I appreciate it.” He smiles nervously at Nova, who still doesn’t seem to quite believe him. “Every time that I see you, message you, hear from you in any way, it makes me really happy.” The blush in Jay’s cheeks worsens. “I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for _you.”_ Jay finds himself nervously laughing and tapping a finger on his knee. Vulnerability had never been something he was great with, so it came with a bunch of nervous tics. “As corny as it is to say, you’re one of the only things in this world that makes sense,” he finishes, his finger still restless against his leg.

“I’m not sure I follow.” Nova admits, and Jay’s anxiety spikes. Despite being alone together where no one could hear them, he scooted closer to Nova and continued in a hushed tone.

“The world is weird and unpredictable, despite its expectations. Other people don’t get me the way you do, even my parents find me a bit odd and keep pushing their suggestions on me, like getting married to some girl and having a big family.” Jay wrinkles his nose a bit just thinking about it. He’s never liked the idea of the typical family he was constantly told he should have, especially when it came to having a wife. He often tried not to think too hard about why. “I mean you know me, Nova. I’m not opposed to the idea of a family. I think it sounds lovely. Just the idea of a wife, of being a military husband, doesn’t sound right to me. I’ve never had a girl, and I don’t plan to have one now, especially with the inevitability that I get shipped off.” Ugh, enough talking about girls. He looks up at Nova shyly. “But I’ve always had you. You’re understanding, you’re supportive of me, you’re caring, and I know I can count on some good letters from you.” The light joke gets a chuckle out of both of them.

“So yeah. You’re the constant variable in my life that keeps my equation balanced,” he says, hoping the math metaphor makes sense. “You’re the only thing that makes sense. I don’t think I’ll ever find that in anyone else.”

“I’m flattered, Jay,” Nova says, in a serious, genuine voice that for some reason leaves Jay breathless. Has Nova’s voice always sounded that nice?

“It’s the truth, bud,” he admits. “You and the navy, that’s all I really have going for me, honestly.” It’s the first time Jay had admitted it. It wasn’t as if military school hadn’t exactly been the easiest thing to get into, and he’d put all of his work into getting accepted, it’s just that he has no backup after this. Sure he’s good at engineering, and knew a bit about musical energy, but really how far would having that as a skill get him?

“Do you think you’ll make that your career?” Nova asks, sounding a bit distant. Or maybe Jay’s just feeling disconnected, who knows?

He pulls his knees up to his chest, trying to make himself as small as he always felt when thinking about his future. He’s supposed to want to make that his career. It’s been the plan since he was a kid, and he wasn’t about to go back on that. But being in the military wasn’t the most welcoming of job opportunities, and even though he was supposed to be fearless and just care about protecting others, he was scared.

“Maybe,” Jay says finally. If there was anyone he could be honest with, it was Nova.

Nova tilts his head to the side curiously. “I thought you want to stay involved, shipped off to fight who knows where, for the rest of your life?”

Jay hugs his legs tighter and squishes his face against his knees. “It…depends,” he muttered, nervously glancing at Nova. “I don’t think I’d mind the isolated sea life that much. And I wouldn’t be that isolated, I’d have troops to command and everything. If I’m captain, but everyone says I will be, with my commandeering nature, haha.” _Wow, that fake laugh was pathetic._ “And as dangerous as is, it’s an important job.” Damnit. He’s only naming positive about it, because he can’t admit to the stupid fact that the biggest thing holding him back was that he was afraid. He wasn’t allowed to be afraid, not to anyone, and apparently that included Nova. “So, the rest of my life…again, maybe.” This is too difficult to get out, Jay decides with a sigh, getting up and walking over to the fence at the edge of the roof. Nova’s suddenly, silently, at his side, and Jay feels at peace. It coaxes more uplifting words out of him. “And if I don’t, I’m sure I’ll find some other career that can hopefully lead me to far off places. That’s another reason I wanted to go. To get the hell out of Vinyl City, explore the world, make new friends and meet new people.” Get away from “friends” you don’t care about and family who don’t care about you. “Hard to do that in your hometown.”

“So what you’re saying is I’ll never see you again?” The suddenness of Nova’s words surprises Jay, and he immediately wishes he’d worded his own thoughts differently. He’d been so caught up in letting out his own thoughts that he hadn’t been considerate of his friend. Nova had always been a loner, and had confided in Jay how important their friendship was to him, and how difficult it would be to lose him. Assured him it would never happen, but Nova’s worries clearly took a lot to dissuade.

If Jay was being honest, the idea of losing Nova was just as scary to him.

“Come on, don’t be like that,” he says, trying to sound reassuring, yet worry still shows plainly on his face.

“I don’t want to lose you, Jay,” Nova mutters somberly, and Jay feels his heart break.

“You won’t.” the boy insists, but he knows his best friend by now, knows that those simple words won’t assure him that easily. “I mean it dude,” he insists. “Nothing could happen that would keep me from you. The only way would be…I don’t know, if I was fucking dead, and even then, I’d make sure my ghost still haunted you until the day you died.” He snickers just picturing it. “You could join me in the afterlife. We could be ghost buddies! Can you imagine?” Jay breaks out into a full on laugh, and receives a soft chuckle and a light-hearted punch on the arm that makes him feel a little better.

The pair fall into a comfortable silence. Jay’s eyes briefly scan the bright lights of the city before inevitably drifting back to look at Nova. The boy’s gaze is fixated on the deep purple sky above, illuminated with hundreds of twinkling lights. A warm glow emits from Nova’s helmet, and a happy sigh escapes Jay’s lips at the pretty sight.

Pretty?

Is pretty the right word?

“The stars tonight are brilliant.” Nova’s deep voice comes out dreamily, and it sends a slight shiver down Jay’s spine.

“Yeah and beautiful too,” he agrees, his eyes not even flickering away from Nova to look at the sky. “You wanna know which star is my favorite?”

“Uh…Delta Arietis? That one is really visible this time of year-” 

Jay cuts him off with a laugh. “No.” Nova is still focused on the sky, he was probably too in his own head about astronomy or whatever to be really paying attention to Jay’s words, so the boy makes him pay attention, gently cupping the side of Nova’s helmet and turning it so they locked gazes. “It’s you, dummy,” he whispers, his hand landing on Nova’s shoulder.

Yeah. Pretty sounds like the right word.

“You flatter me, captain,” Nova whispers.

“You deserve it, space cowboy,” he responds with a smile. Did their faces get closer? Was it suddenly warmer? Those thoughts swirled around the back of his mind, because at the forefront all Jay could think about was how happy he was. It was Jay’s final night of freedom, and right now, it was the best night he could have pictured, because he was here with his best friend.

He fades back to reality when a hand comes up and tucks a bit of Jay’s hair behind his ear that had gone rogue. It feels so nice and so natural, and it’s all Jay can do not to melt into Nova’s touch when his hand freezes on his cheek. Instead he takes the hand in his own, interlocks their fingers, and lets them drop to their side. If it’s possible, Jay’s smile grows wider and his eyes shine even brighter.

_I think you’re beautiful._

Beautiful. _That’s_ the right word.

His eyes flicker down to his hand on Nova’s shoulder, and their hands interlocked, and his eyebrows shoot up as he gets an idea.

“Wanna dance?”

He’s pretty sure Nova will say no. The guy’s never been one for any kind of dancing, always complaining about two left feet, said he didn’t want to embarrass himself, didn’t want to accidentally hurt anybody, excuses excuses. But the atmosphere tonight is different. Jay isn’t sure why, but it is, and for some reason there’s just a tiny bit more likelihood in his mind that Nova will say yes. And if not, he could always play the “come on, it’s my last night of fun” card.

“Sure. I’ll lead?” Nova finally says, his free hand falling gently on Jay’s waist.

Jay ignores the butterflies he feels at the act. “Fine by me.” A thought pops into his head. “Actually, wait a second.” He takes out his phone and easily selects a song to play that he finds fitting for the kind of dancing they’re about to do.

“Classic ballroom? Really?” Nova gives him a disbelieving look.

“What would you rather I play? EDM?”

Nova laughs. “Maybe. Though I know that’s not really your style.” Jay rolls his eyes at the teasing. EDM was a great genre, fun to listen to and especially fun to dance to. Nova was just a coward in his reluctance to appreciate it.

“Just dance with me, hot stuff,” he deflects, tightening his hold on Nova’s shoulder.

“Whatever you say, Jay.” And the butterflies are back.

Jay loves dancing. Loves it. Is he good? Debatable. Does he have fun? Absolutely. While ballroom dancing isn’t something he’s familiar with, he’s determined to at least have fun with it. Although with Nova as his partner, how could it not be?

The waltz they attempt is a big mess from the beginning. They both keep confusing which foot to step with and eventually settle on simple half steps to spin them in circles. It’s a calm and steady rhythm they move in, and it’s nice. Really nice.

When Nova lifts his arm up Jay doesn’t hesitate to twirl, laughing a little as he does. When Jay’s hand falls back into place on Nova’s shoulder the simple touch makes his fingertips feel alight. Nova twirls him a few more times throughout the song, and Jay enjoys every single one of them. At one point he spins himself away from Nova, only connecting them by their hands and strikes a pose and throws Nova a wink. He considers blowing a kiss but considers the wink enough. Nova laughter is more beautiful than any music Jay could have played as he strikes his own pose before pulling Jay back in for more dancing.

As the end of the song nears, Jay suggests something that crossed his mind when Nova first spun him.

“Dip me,” he commands.

“Are you sure?” The hesitance is apparent in his voice. “I don’t want to-”

“You won’t drop me, Nova,” Jay interrupts, knowing his friend’s concern. “Come on, do it!” Jay has never been dipped before, and he’s more than a little curious. And he means what he says, he knows that Nova won’t drop him. Not with those big protective hands of his. Thinking about them too long brings heat to Jay’s face so he pushes them out of his mind.

The strong hand on Jay’s waist moves to tightly hold his back, pressing Jay and Nova’s chest’s together. Jay’s hand tightens a little bit on Nova’s nice smelling hoodie as the star tips the two of them over. Jay can’t say he’s hating this, quite the opposite. He trusts Nova, he feels safe in his friend’s arms, and this dance is the most fun he’s had in weeks.

This night is the most fun he’s had in weeks. He’s dressed up all nice, he got to spend time with his friends, he’s getting to spend time alone with his best friend, he’s happy.

A genuine smile finds its way onto Jay’s face, and with an instinct he couldn’t fight if he tried, his hand on Nova’s shoulder moves so that it’s gently resting on the boy’s helmet. Their faces are close, and he can see the beautiful blue light within. Feeling a prick of nervousness, his gaze shifts, and instead he gives Nova a once over, thinking about how nice and normal this feels. Nova holding him tight, their bodies so close Nova can probably feel Jay’s deep breaths. Jay’s tongue wets his lips as his eyes find the blue helmet again. The last note of the song is held and fades out, Nova holds Jay in their pose, and by god all Jay wants to do is lean in and kiss him.

_Wait, what?_

Jay blinks at the revelation, shifting slightly, and almost immediately they’re in a standing position and the two have separated completely. Jay misses the touch but his heart is beating too loudly in his chest for him to give it too much mind.

What was that last thought he had?

He cautiously looks up at Nova, who’s standing stiff and awkwardly, and Jay immediately tries to break the sudden tension.

“Wow. That was fun,” he says with a laugh, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m not usually one for dancing, but like always, you make things way better. Thanks, space cowboy.” he tacks the nickname on for good measure, and that seems to do the trick.

“Of course, Jay. I loved doing that with you.” Was it the boy’s imagination, or did Nova hesitate for a moment? “You’re a good dance partner.”

“You’re a good leader.” That dancing seemed to have left him breathless, so he sat down once more, this time laying down completely so he could see the stars above. Nova joins him, and Jay can’t help but notice that if they were any closer their shoulders would be touching. He wonders why he cares but doesn’t dwell on it.

Instead his mind goes back to them dancing, how much fun it was, especially being able to do it with his best friend. He couldn’t picture it being as fun with any of the girls who’d asked him. He didn’t even really know them that well, which is why he’d turned them down. His other friends teased him about it, hell, they teased him about most things. “Man, if only the guys could have seen us. I tell you, they wouldn’t let me live it down.” There’s a laugh in his voice when he says it, but he feels a slight ache in his chest. He likes hanging out with those guys, he really does, but sometimes their ribbing and light insults rang too true, or hurt a little more than they probably intended. And they could sometimes be jerks to Nova. Jay was never a fan of that. Nova was his best friend, he was worth more than all of them combined. Luckily Nova didn’t seem too bothered by them, at least he never said so. If he did, Jay would drop those guys in a heartbeat.

“Yeah. Sorry we ditched your friends to come up here.” Nova sounds almost remorseful and Jay wants to tell him he doesn’t need to be. The guys were either being pulled along by their dates for dancing, or stuffing their faces with food from the snack table. Jay felt awkward among them more than anything, and was grateful for the first opportunity they had to slip away.

“Are you kidding? Prom is lame anyway. And the theme was ‘under the sea.’ Boooringggg.” He relishes in the soft chuckle he hears from Nova. “Sneaking up to the roof to stargaze and dance and have deep conversations with your best friend, now that is way more fun.” Nova gives a hum of acknowledgement, but Jay notices he seems to have moved a couple inches away. Damn. He doesn’t think about why he feels a little disappointed.

“Still. We did abandon your other friends, didn’t even tell them where we were going.” No they hadn’t. However as Jay and Nova were ushering themselves out of the gym, Jay had glanced back at his group of friends and locked eyes with Lizzy, the girl who’d gone with Jay’s friend Ryan. She originally asked Jay but he turned her down, which she took more gracefully than some of the other girls he said no to. As she saw them leaving the gym she glanced down and Jay and Nova’s clasped hands and gave him a thumbs up and a genuine smile.

Jay waves his hand, dismissing Nova’s statement and the memory. “I’m sure they think we snuck off somewhere to drink and fuck or whatever.” Saying it brings a small blush to his face, but that’s nothing compared to the way the light in Nova’s helmet suddenly bursts with blue like a firework. Jay smirks and bites his tongue, but it isn’t enough to prevent his laughter. Nova’s face glows even more and Jay can imagine how hot he is.

“Aw man, you should see your face right now.”

“I don’t have a face.” The weak defense just makes Jay laugh harder. Any nervousness he previously felt seems to melt away.

“You know what I mean, Nova, come on,” he teases, running a hand through his hair. “Let them think what they want,” he continues, going back to his previous statement. “Who cares, anyway?”

Jay isn’t stupid. He knows what people say about him and Nova. He knows some people say it with disgust, some say it with jealousy, some say it with excitement, but regardless the majority ruling is that no one ever really says it to their faces. The last time someone called them boyfriends in order to mock them was middle school, at this point people either believed that’s what they were, or they understood that’s how Jay was and just didn’t mention it.

Nova tilts his head curiously. “You do? I mean, they’re your friends.”

Jay scoffs. Friends certainly was…a word. “I said ‘who cares?’” He rolls over so he’s laying on his side, obviously checking Nova out. Nova mimics his body posture and Jay feels like he’s on the cover of some teen romance novel his sister’s so fond of.

The funny thing was, Jay wouldn’t even have minded if people thought that about the two of them. Hell, he wouldn’t mind if he and Nova actually were dating. It sounded kind of nice, actually. They were so close anyway; if they had feelings for each other…

Jay’s mind drifts back to the thought he had when Nova dipped him.

“I have all I need up here with me,” he says. “Stars, fresh air, and the cutest boy in the world.” This is nothing unlike his typical casual flirting that he does with friends, with Nova more so than anyone else (because Nova’s the one least bothered by it) but something about this time felt a little more strange. Well of course he thought Nova was cute, he’d thought so for a long time, and it was obvious to anyone who could see. His playful smile is a little more genuine than joking, and he’s hyper aware of how close their faces are. The thought from earlier refuses to go away.

“I don’t know why you put yourself at the end of that list.” Nova sounds so casual saying it that Jay almost doesn’t register it as flirting. His playful smile drops and his eyes widen in surprise. Was that Nova calling him cute? Really? Nova thought he was cute? Was it just his imagination, or did his heart start beating faster?

He blinks and is able to clear his thoughts. “Shut up, man,” he mumbles, chuckling as he says it but more to keep it from being too silent. To be extra friendly he gives Nova a soft punch on the arm. However the boy catches it as Jay begins to pull back, and interlocks their fingers. Jay wants to say something, anything, but for once the silence isn’t uncomfortable. It’s nice and reassuring. Jay gently squeezes Nova’s hand. It doesn’t feel as friendly as he intended. Jay doesn’t exactly mind.

He doesn’t know how long they lay there, holding hands, looking at each other, feeling like the only two people in the world. And though he doesn’t act on it, and doesn’t understand why, one thought continues to permeate all else.

_I still want to kiss you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments/Kudos are appreciated as always
> 
> EDIT: The lovely lunasdestiny made some art for this fic! It's fantastic please check it out https://lunasdestiny.tumblr.com/post/635699803392770048/its-all-night-forever-with-you-tonight


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